At 25 I came to the conclusion that my current self-had to transform.
She had lived a long while and I was tired.
I was tired of not saying yes to me. Tired of putting myself last. I was tired of sacrificing so much for so little appreciation and value. On a daily basis I was thinking more of others than for myself. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, until I did this so intently that I had lost sight of who I was.
I was void.
In all honesty, I didn't know what I liked to do, what I wanted or how to be me. I was a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, career-woman, black female, vegetarian—all labels that did nothing for me in that moment of limbo.
I had spent so long being what and who others needed that I didn't recognize me without the masks.
I had become faceless.
And while it was extremely difficult and emotional, looking back it was where I need to be in that time. I needed to strip away all the masks, all the mirages to get to the raw and untouched essence of my being.
I had to rebirth.
That meant looking toward the future to see transformation of Shannon McGuire of old. She had served me and the world well but it was time to take on the next phase of my life. I made the decision to walk away from it all. That's where I felt the most grounded.
Like the Phoenix birthed from the ashes of destruction, I was reborn.